Domestic Violence

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Suzie Anthony on July 30, 2008 at 8:06pm

Thanks again, Lady B and Jo for adding more on this subject. It was refreshing to hear a mans point of view ( from Daniel ) that was not negitive...hope we get more mens comments ... Thanks again !

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Daniel on July 30, 2008 at 8:18pm

I would like to thank you all for your comments concerning my reply but i must insist on adding this to my comments on this subject ......... though i have an open mind concerning all subjects .. it does make it quite easier when i have an open minded lady by my side ....... and that is one of the reasons why i love and respect her . again , thank you and i [ we ] hope to interact with you more .

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by KTR on July 31, 2008 at 10:49pm

As a child of a battered woman and a few instances of my own being abused, I had written a poem about it. I'll also post in the talent section.


I look in the mirror and who do I see,
a woman with a black eye staring back at me.

I look at my hands all bruised and battered,
the person within me all torn and tattered.

My life a mess with noone to blame but me,
when I look in the mirror thats what I see.

I sit awaiting just for him to come home,
hoping today will better if we are alone.

But it doesn't matter... I realize...
he'll find something to chastize.

He tells me he loves me more than anyone should,
making me think that noone else would.

Then one day I realize while looking in the mirror,
I only live for one thing in life, I live in fear.

So I gather up my conscience and say to myself,
I need to get out of here for me and my health.

I don't want to end up in a body bag,
with bags in hand, I cry, my shoulders sag.

I will leave a note just to tell him goodbye,
when he gets help, only then can I try.

I need to find that girl in the mirror,
that once smiled and laughed, who barely shed a tear.

She's somewhere inside me that I know,
someone who I lost a long time ago.


Help is out there, and I know it's almost frightening to even think about sometimes, I know that my mom put up with abuse for 11 years before she finally had enough nerve to leave my father, I can't remember the countless times as a child of me or my siblings jumping on my father to get him to stop and being thrown ourselves.

And I also know that the strength I saw in her that day...felt like the warm sun spreading the clouds after years of gloom.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Suzie Anthony on August 1, 2008 at 9:06am

KTR,
Thank you so much for sharing your story and wonderful poem. Writing is very therapeutic
and helps with the healing process. It is so hard to tell our story of abuse to others. This could give someone else out there the courage to tell theirs, or change a situation they may be in. Bless you for sharing this with all of us.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Georgia Makowicki on August 1, 2008 at 12:37pm

Please let me know WHERE, WHEN you want to meet and start this thing rolling. I have no problem donating myself, my time and energy to this cause. It isn't just a women getting killed thing. It is aweful that anyone goes to jail, dies, or is humiliated because people call the police instead of learning to get along or not getting married or live together in the first place. It has to start THERE! Treat each other with respect. I have been on all three aspects of this problem. I am no saint, but I always try to do what is right. Reguardless even me myself have been incarcerated because I would rather have me go to jail even when I am "right", instead of having my children cry. Read that last sentence over and over and over til you get it. KIDS NEED TO HAVE ONE STABLE PARENT, ADULT, TEACHER, PREACHER in their life. Sometimes when we try to be "supermom", SUPER DAD, the BEST in anything it can be overwhelming. I spent my 37th birthday in jail because I was beginning a SEPERATION from my spouse. I spanked all four of my children a total of three times. In their whole life. I let them learn from the book of life, the HARD KNOCKS UNIVERSITY, and they have all turned out as I would have expected and I love them all unconditionally. Some days I don't really want to be around them when they are chastizing me for something. After all, I AM the parent. So what happened on my 37th birthday to end ME up in Jail?? Me, the law abiding citizen that started the Community Child Watch Program when all my kids were young, the youngest 6 months old: Katie my youngest at the time, Matt my oldest at the time was a Kindergartener,at South Hamlin school and in love with Sarah ? .. walking down the aisle the first day of school telling me he was getting married. After all, a young blonde girl with blue eyes was there and his new best friend. My heart was full of joy... my son found a friend. At the time Katie was in Head start with Dru Lyons (who had just lost her husband), and "miss Cookie" was her assistant. (Boy was that Indian bread she made awesome!!!!!! WOWOOW) I also had home day care at the time and watched Judy Stewarts children, Adam and Jonathan at times as well. Sheri Wheaton had me watch Abraham (Joe) and occasionally Charlie. Charlie was an awesome kid that I wish I had gotten to know better but he was in school most of the time. I did and still know Denise, as she stopped over after jr. high to check on her baby brother. I saw Charlie the other day. He has grown into a fine young man. He helped me load some furniture to clean up and give away to friends and others not so fortunate as to have something to sit or sleep on. He used his own vehicle and only after he did this for me did I also ask his last name. Wheaton. My married name. OMG! I had not seen him since he was playing in my yard with pine cones and adding a few "bubbles" to the bathroom toilet... ( no other big boys to play with... I wish there had been a few more, but I kinda had my hands a lil full already don'tcha think :) .... well as always I rarely get to the point without telling you more than you really need to know. But the moral to this story that I shall end right here for now is this. YOU CAN OBEY THE LAW TO THE T ... all your life!! and still go to jail for domestic violence!! This law has to be changed to just plain old. take it to court and if there is family trouble someone GET OUT.. neighbors, GET INVOLVED. if you see a child crying because someone is getting beat up, CALL THE POLICE. GEt to know your neighbors. The only thing I have ever had against the law, is when the Mason County Undersheriff desolved my hard earned program without even a phone call to me. I put my heart and soul into that and without even a thank you , the next sheriff in office (Larry Stewart I believe) Let Undersheriff Finch desolve MY program. I was livid... yet, what am I suppose to do??
Anyhoooooo ... I went to Jail on MY 37th birthday because my 16 yr old daughter mouthed off an obscenity to me to my face at 2am. or so after she begged me to come home. Which I did. I would NEVER leave my child. Of course she didn't always want to hear what was discussed between her father and I, and had she stuck her nose back IN her room instead of deciding she was an adult her lil face wouldn't have gotten slapped. I willing went to jail. Crying all the way. Because I knew I had done a bad thing and deserved to be punished. Would I slap her again. Yes. or should I have spanked her aduring her childhood? NO. I raised her as I wanted. And I gave her free will to call me or anyone else what she pleased. THAT had never came out of her mouth before, or since. Lesson Learned???? Yes, for all to see. And was I humilated... yes for all the time I was in jail to I regained the respect of those who "love" me. And after I convinced myself that I was still a good person. Domestic Violence perse.. is WRONG. HITTING people is wrong. Children unhappy in any household every day is wrong. No one is one hundred percent perfect every day of the week. Women have cycles, or none of us would be here. We have a HUGE alcoholic problem in Mason County. Or else we just need private ranches where men go with no women to get totallly smashed with NO GUNS, or women need to band together as "sisters, "friends" and just females in general. Stop trying to steal someone elses' man. Stop trying to LAY your best friend's girl, GUYS.. I mean come on? Who is the whore in mason county??? I mean really? Maybe if we just change the name to Ludington Whore then we can all say we own the town?... or maybe we can just shut our legs, and zip our pants and try the get to know each other til you get married deally? I say give it a shot. wait 10 dates to have sex. Women would get wined, dined and generally treated well. You would know if the person, male or female just wanted you for your , BODY, MONEY, or whatever you had to offer that they were lacking. Or if they GENUINELY liked you!!! OMG! , what a concept! ... and I gracefully step off my bandstand for the day, Christmas shopping , all I have money for is done and being wrapped. So if you weren't nice to me the first half of the year... so sorry for your loss... LOL. Take care my friends and as I said Suzie... just let me know when and where, it IS TIME FOR A CHANGE!

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Georgia Makowicki on August 1, 2008 at 12:39pm

I pray this wasn't related to Shawn Mead my sweet little neighbor boy... but I fear it may. I don't even want to look in the paper. Family of Jessica, all of you... Please know that all of us that have suffered any form of abuse wish you warmth from God's hands to heal your pain. Sincerly.. Georgia Makowicki (Wheaton )

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Georgia Makowicki on August 1, 2008 at 12:51pm

NOTE that Sheriff at the time that the program was initiated was Bob Englebrecht, and that he, his wife and Jack Harper, chief of police were EXELLENT in all thier efforts, as were the contributers that made the program the sucess it was then and should be again. "My " signs are still up in Hamlin where Sally Carter, Mike and Gail Lyons , and Jan Organ Miller helped me to acheive my goal as to making all area kids safe. Mich Con was instramental in providing the material. Dow and Elly of McDonalds' bakery we both generous. As was anyone that I asked. One bed and breakfest sent me a "nice" not saying they could not, but that's ok too. I am sure they are struck with an onslaught of requests?? Perhaps. Anyways. I thank all that did help me in those days. Pam from Oakview wanted to make this grow as well. I believe her name was Pam Montgomery. I still see my former child watch volunteers.. who had safe homes . Ruth Ann Holmes you will see at the hospital, as well as my brother Ed, sister Mary in E. R. , Chuck Lange's wife, Beckys mom--- Linda Lange. It IS a small community. Please look out for each other. This violence does NOT have to happen. Keep your daughters safe from abuse by telling to respect thier bodies and their choices and not use "SEX" to get what they want. Abstinence is the only way to get people to stop for a second and listen to you. Totally listen to you. The persuit of any goal should not cause you to step on any person in front of you. Let it be money, a girlfriend / boyfriend. Please stop the petty backstabbing and games going on. Everyone knows if you give someone enough alcohol or tease them long enough they give in... usually. That was caused Statuatory rape when I grew up. And it still should be today. However, even 16 year old lovers may decide to have sex and be in love. THAT IS NOT RAPE~! ... when two consenting individuals of ANY age, (both being over 21 or both being 16 or under -- IS NOT RAPE. Girls enjoy sex (usually), Boys enjoy sex (usually)... boys AND girls get raped. This is not news people. Teach your children that the only part of their body that STRANGERS touch after age 2 is what the big full piece bathing suit covers. Nothing else is acceptable behaviour by anyone outside of the family. MOM, DAD, Grandparents, or very trusted and time and time again used babysitter. Don't just drop your kids off with just anyone.... make it the same person or two people time and time again. Kids under 3 will not tell you they are sexually abused. They just scream when you hand them over... and even writing that sends chills up my spine. .... use your head.. and know your own kid...... its almost 1a.m...... Georgia... once again, signing off :)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Suzie Anthony on August 2, 2008 at 10:39pm

Thank you Georgia for sharing your story with us all.
I understand your frustration with our " system " in this area.
Lets hope we get people out to VOTE FOR A CHANGE this election year.
Hope to hear from more of you out there. Thanks to everyone who has shared so far.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Suzie Anthony on August 5, 2008 at 10:09am

Tonight is the Tuesdat Night Womens meeting at Cove. If you feel you need help, or need to talk to other women about Domestic violence, please come @ 6:30.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Manda on August 6, 2008 at 9:32pm

I am sorry for the loss of your daughter Suzanne. I knew her in school. She was a sweet quiet beautiful woman.

I hope that you include domestic violence towards men when it comes increasing awareness of a very big problem not just in this tri-county area but the whole country, and probably the whole world. There are usually two sides to every story but I think domestic violence towards men is a lot bigger problem than it is known. they are just less likely to talk about it because of pride. But they need protection too. The justice system doesn't lock up people long enough who really need it and often those with PPO's dont abide by it unfortunately

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Georgia Makowicki on August 7, 2008 at 12:51pm

and sometimes children are even abusive to their parents as well. Not any family in particular. But I am stating that there are probably even more than three sides to every story, depending on how many people are involved. Everyone sees things in their own light. And when you are scared sometimes your feelings are intensified ... .people need to just sit back and listen sometimes. because someone that is caring and loving 85 % of the time, and even preachers are allowed to have a bad day. Jesus Christ was perfect. And no one else will ever be that is human. So.... hopefully if you see a distressed person of any color, creed, or age... don't be afraid to gently ask if they need help. Jesus would have...

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Manda on August 8, 2008 at 8:51am

I'd tend to think that people who abuse the system also makes it harder for true victims to be taken more seriously and to gain the help that they need. I wonder how many PPO's are taken out on spouses just because the one spouse is angry with them and want distance but there is no true threat for physical personal safety. How many resources are spent dealing with people with spite issues instead of someone being truly abused. I would bet that police officers deal with enough complaints that are obviously an abuse of power that they become skeptical and thus less efficient in their jobs. The problem comes when people can bail themselves out so easily. The problem is with people who abuse the system. Police officers are stretched to their limits. There are idiots out there causing trouble on every turn. They are the people who drive drunk and threaten every single life that they pass along the road. They are the people who go and rob and steal to get their money to pay for their habits. They vandalize other peoples properties. They drink too much and then chase people down with baseball bats and assalt others. There are a lot of ways to abuse a person but the most effective method of overcoming the problem is personal responsibility. We all need to make sure we are not adding to problems. We need to make sure that when we are raising children that we teach them to love and respect others. A child should never see parents fight nor see physical abuse between the two. Children need to be taught how to resolve conflicts without their fists or even a sharp tongue. It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks and thus I believe youngsters are a key to change. (As well as each person being responsible themselves) That would take care of a lot of problems in society and would free up police officers so that they could take more time and care into truly abused men and women.

▶ Reply to This

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4